


Under The Light

by MissMonsters2



Series: Under the Light, You Found Me [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/F, Romance, Supreme Angst, fem!reader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:41:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22626529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMonsters2/pseuds/MissMonsters2
Summary: [From Tumblr]Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader/OFCPrompt Request: @marvelouschloe 💕& Anonymous- 3: I’m sorry, I am so sorry.- 4: Do you have any idea what this feels like?- 13: We’re falling apart, and you don’t even care!- 17: I want you to say anything! Scream! Yell at me! Just something to show you fucking care.
Relationships: Wanda Maximoff/Reader, Wanda Maximoff/You
Series: Under the Light, You Found Me [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2122770
Comments: 2
Kudos: 78
Collections: Wanda Maximoff Reader-Inserts





	Under The Light

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: Thanks for sending these in babes! I hope you don’t mind that I combined these since they’re all so the same/similar. So, I really sat here thinking about how I could make this hurt. I’m in pain. P.S. I love Wanda. That is all.
> 
> Warnings: Have you ever been stabbed in the gut before? Ok, well now you have. With words.
> 
> милый/milyj - Darling

People say that you can always see when the end is beginning.

And you could. You could pinpoint exactly where in your relationship that everything began to spiral downwards. 

The beginning was that you had met Wanda in a bar. 

You were two broken people trying to find love in each other.

And you did.

She was in so much pain from losing her brother, and you were just so broken from the start. You’ve only ever had one person in your life. The two of you were just two misfits trying to beat the system. You had no parents, no family, just her.

Until you met Wanda.

Wanda saw something in you, and you made a home in her. 

It didn’t bother you that she was gone a lot of the time, busy saving the world because she always came home to you. 

The way she would enter your apartment into your bedroom, shedding her clothes off as she slinked into bed, fingers softly holding you as she buried her head into your chest. 

_“I love you,”_ she would whisper as if she was scared to say it because everything Wanda’s ever loved has left her. 

You would drag her fingers that were covered in rings, kissing her fingertips softly because she was everything to you. 

_“Always,”_ you would tell her in return. That would comfort her more than saying ‘I love you.’

It was working, you thought. 

The both of you were so, _so_ broken, but you could love each other without leaving scars. 

The best part was that you didn’t feel broken with her. You felt like a normal human being, just trying to make the best of everything.

You think you made her feel like that too.

You were fine. 

But then she wasn’t there when you needed her most. 

It happened so fast. The car you were in was spinning over and over, glass shattering everywhere.

You couldn’t feel your legs. 

When you woke up in the fire, you were trying to wake your best friend, but no matter how much you screamed, she didn’t respond. 

A stupid drunk driver t-boning the car you were in with your best friend. 

You made it.

She didn’t. 

Wanda wasn’t there, but you weren’t upset because she was saving the world. She would return to you. She would tell you she loved you, so you could tell her ‘ _always_ ’. 

That’s how you made it through the five months until she came home.

By then, your injuries had healed up quite nicely. You were in physiotherapy to help you walk again. It was grueling and painful. 

The first time you had screamed and cried because your legs weren’t _working._

You cried for many weeks.

But you persevered, pushing through the pain and grief.

You didn’t want Wanda to worry. You were going to walk and show her that you were still capable of being her home.

Because you love her and Wanda is the only good thing left in your life.

The day she returned, and you were waiting for her to come to see you. Wanda always came back to you first when she was back from her missions. 

It was really late at night, and you were tired, but you couldn’t wait to see her.

You still had a slight limp when you walked, your physiotherapist giving you a cane to help you walk around. It was way better than the crutches you had to use a couple weeks before. 

You could hear a vehicle approaching. You got up, limping slightly over to the open window as you peered through the curtains.

It was your girlfriend.

You smiled. You were about to call out to her, but someone else stepped out of the vehicle as well.

It was Vision, you think his name was. 

You hadn’t met him too many times before. 

He looked human, and that was new, but you still recognized him. It looked like he was dropping her off.

No big deal.

Until he leaned in and Wanda was using her power on his stone, his hand on her arm intimately. 

Usually, this would’ve been nothing. They’re teammates, they can bond in different ways you can’t with Wanda.

You’re not part of that part in her life.

You weren’t a superhero. 

And you were okay with that.

But it was the expression on her face.

The peace, the awe, that settled over her. There was a type of smile and light laughter that she let out that you’ve never experienced before.

It made you swallow. 

Wanda had never been like that with you. You were two broken people together, that’s what made it work.

But…that didn’t look like the case anymore. 

You quickly put away your cane, lying in bed, so Wanda came in, you just looked normal.

You couldn’t let her know that you were more broken than when she left.

You just couldn’t.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

It was getting worse. 

That’s the shitty part about being able to pinpoint when things are starting to go crumble. You begin to notice every tiny detail, over-reading everything. 

The fewer visits. 

The distant looks.

The lack of sex.

You could no longer relate her. 

She still said she loved you, but it didn’t feel the same. It was bringing an awful pit to your stomach. 

Wanda hadn’t even noticed that there was something wrong with you. That you had been broken physically, that your best friend no longer came around. 

You didn’t know how to bring it up. It was piling up higher and higher, and you were too scared to break down in front of Wanda.

Because it was clear she was no longer broken like you. 

And you didn’t want her to know that.

It made you look at yourself. You couldn’t help it, how disgusted you were with yourself. You were so desperate to fix yourself.

That’s how you could keep Wanda; otherwise, you were going to be left behind.

The crippling fear was making everything worse between the two of you.

The thing about bottling everything up higher and higher is that it tends to spill over as you’re desperate to keep it all in. There comes a point that you’re no longer struggling to keep your head afloat.

You’ll drown and accept it. 

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

You lost count of how many weeks it’s been since you’ve seen Wanda. 

She kept saying that she’s busy, but maybe that’s code that she doesn’t want to spend time with you.

Why spend time with you when she can with Vision?

You wondered if she was just reminded about how broken she was before, how broken her past is when she looks at you. 

You were a mess. 

You stopped physiotherapy.

You slept the day away, no longer answering your phone. Every single night, you were at the bar, drinking your life away and dancing.

What’s the point? 

No one was checking up on you anymore. No one was looking for you. 

You were leaning against a brick wall, smoking a cigarette by your lonesome. The drinking no longer appealed to you, so you picked smoking instead. It gave you a new high. 

“Hey, baby, you all alone out here?” A buff drunk man stumbled out the back door as he spotted you.

You didn’t answer. 

“Hey, I’m talking to you!” He belligerently said in your face. 

His vodka breath was disgusting you. You pushed him roughly back, and he stumbled before catching his footing.

“You stupid bitch, what the hell!” He slurred, coming right back for you. 

You didn’t move. It wasn’t like you could get away fast enough. 

The blow never came. 

The next thing you knew, he was on the ground with Natasha over his body. She was twisting his arm painfully behind his back.

“We don’t hit girls, do we?” She seethed at him. He whimpered out his response, begging her to let go. Natasha twisted his arm just a tad harder before she let go.

She was grabbing your hand as she dragged you out. On the corner of the street across from the park, she whipped around, furious at you.

“Why haven’t you been answering Wanda’s calls?” She asked before she caught sight of your cigarette. 

She grabbed the offending item from your fingertips, making a disgusted noise before she put it out.

“What the hell has been wrong with you?” She asked, and you can’t help but laugh.

“That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it?” You drily say. “Thanks for saving me from being punched in the face, I wouldn’t have been able to hobble away fast enough.”

You turn around, and it’s the first that Natasha catches the limp in your walk. 

“Oh, no,” Natasha says as she stops you from leaving. “Whatever _this_ is, it’s done. I’m taking you to Wanda right now.”

You make a sound of protest, but there’s not much you can do.

After all, Black Widow has you in her grasp. 

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

Everyone at the compound is still awake when Natasha drags you there. Wanda is sitting next to Vision, and the sight of it makes you sick to your stomach.

When she notices you, she immediately hops up, walking over to you hurriedly with worry. 

She immediately smells the smoke and alcohol on you, and she looks thoroughly disappointed.

It makes you feel worse about yourself, but you push it away.

It doesn’t matter anymore. 

“Where have you been? I’ve been searching for you every single night.”

You merely shrug. 

“ _милый_ , please talk to me,” she begs you. 

“Are you…okay?” Bruce speaks up from the back and you tense. Everyone is looking at him, and Wanda whips her head back at you, trying to inspect if you have any injuries.

Bruce is eyeing you, and you wish he just _wouldn’t_ before he speaks up again, “You’re standing unevenly. You’re putting all the pressure onto one leg, while slanted. It’s an indicator there’s something wrong with your spine.”

Wanda looks alarmed while Natasha is staring at your back. Natasha steps forward, lifting your shirt up intrusively while you yelp.

“Hey!” You object, but it’s too late. 

She revealed the angry gash that has scarred over your lower back, disappearing into your pants. 

Wanda lets out a horrid gasp as she sees it, putting her hand over her mouth as she looks at the wound.

“ _милый_ …what…what happened. When did this happen? Who did this to you?”

You grasp your shirt back down, glaring at Natasha as you did, but she looks angry herself. 

“It’s nothing,” you mumbled.

“Don’t lie to me!” Wanda angrily says to you.

“Who the hell cares what happened!” You yell back at her. “You haven’t noticed since you came back, why does it matter now?”

Wanda is stunned. 

You look around the room, everyone is uncomfortable as you fight with Wanda, and you’re about to turn around to leave, but Wanda grabs your hands instead. She pulls you gently to her room and shuts the door behind you.

You walk past her over to her bed, and Wanda notices your limp.

“Take your clothes off,” she demands. 

You turn around, eyebrows scrunched together.

“What?”

“Take. Your. Clothes. Off.” Wanda demands more slowly this time.

“ _No_ , what the fuck,” You tell her. You’re not about to strip before her.

“I need to see the injuries,” Wanda tells you, and she comes towards you, hand-stretched out to tug at your shirt, but you quickly slap it away.

“You don’t need to pretend you care now, it’s fine. Can I go home?” You quickly try to walk past her again, but she blocks the door.

Wanda is shocked at your tone and attitude.

“What the hell are you talking about? _Of course_ , I care! I’m your _girlfriend_.”

“Are you?” You ask, unable to help the hurt tone that bleeds into your voice. 

Wanda furrows her brow as she crosses her arms.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

It was the overfilled bottled up emotions, threatening to make it’s presence now that you were in front of Wanda.

The weeks of trying to keep everything together while you clearly couldn’t alone. It was bursting at the seams and you let it explode. 

“It means you’re too busy moving on with Vision to notice anything about me!” You huffed.

Wanda shirks back, and she’s defensive. She opens her mouth to say something, but you’re not finished. 

“It means that I got t-boned 6 months ago and I made it, but my best friend didn’t,” You say, your throat feeling raw as the hot feeling in the back of your eyes creeps up.

“It means that even though I was all alone and I couldn’t fucking _walk_ , I had to plan her funeral because I was all she had. Do you know how _hard_ that was?” The tears are coming swiftly now, like the dam that broke open. 

“It means that even though the only person that was like family to me is _dead_ , I still felt like everything was okay because I thought I had you. So, every fucking day I got up, pushed myself through the pain and grief at physiotherapy so I could walk to you when you came back.”

You choke on your tears because the image of her peaceful face when she’s with Vision pops in your head.

“And even though I’m suffering inside and everything is slipping through my fingers, you haven’t even noticed! I can’t talk to you without you obviously thinking that you’d rather be somewhere else, _with_ someone else.”

You’re openly crying now, hands to your face as your shoulders shake uncontrollably.

You’re falling apart, right in front of Wanda. 

It’s your worst nightmare.

“It means that **we’re falling apart and you don’t even care!** ”

The news is hit Wanda like a ton of bricks. God, how could she not notice any of that? At the same time, the guilt overfloods her.

She immediately crowds around you, holding you in her arms tightly.

“ **I’m sorry, I am so sorry** , _милый_ ,” she whispers into your hair, eyes watering because you were hurting so much, and she hadn’t noticed.

You push her away, folding your arms across your torso, a grimace on your lips.

“I don’t want your sorry,” you bitterly mutter as you turn around, facing away from her.

Wanda pinches her lips together as she lifts her hand but then retracts it back to her side, clenching it into a fist.

“What do you want me to say?” She asks you.

“ **I want you to say anything! Scream! Yell at me! Just something to show you fucking care!** ” You whip around her, screaming at her so loudly you’re sure everyone in the compound heard it.

“I want you to tell me that everything is still the same between us, that Vision isn’t who you’re turning to when you need someone now!” You’re begging, it’s so pathetic, but you don’t know what else you can do. 

She feels guilty. So guilty and Wanda doesn’t know how to make it better.

“It’s not like that between Vision and me,” Wanda tells you, but the image of her connecting with his stone won’t leave your mind. The way he held her intimately, and the way she looked… _healed_.

So, you don’t believe her. 

Because you’re still broken, you’re the only broken one. She was only yours when she was broken too. 

“I want you to tell me the truth,” you croak. 

There’s a momentary silence as Wanda watches more tears fall from your eyes.

“ _Admit it_ ,” you say, chin trembling. “You’ve outgrown me.”

The words make Wanda stiff. 

The silence swallows you whole. 

Your eyes dull, arms sagging to your side. Everything feels raw, from your throat to your eyes. 

Your chest was heavy, and it felt like someone was squeezing your heart.

“Okay,” you say hollowly, giving in. “Okay.”

Walking past her, you open the door, limping your way out. 

The floor is empty, and you’re thankful because you don’t know how you could face this humiliation. 

You get all the way out the compound before Wanda calls your name as she chased after you, grabbing your wrist once more. 

She spins you around, and there are tears in her eyes. 

“Wait, please, just– _please, milyj_.”

Wanda’s stammering, she doesn’t have anything she wants to say put together. 

She doesn’t even know what she wants to say. 

You chuckle humorlessly. The sound is so empty that it scares Wanda. 

” **Do you have any idea what this feels like?** ” You cry silently, tears falling slowly.

“I’m desperately trying to keep myself together, keep the pieces from falling so I can keep you, but it’s not enough, is it?”

You slowly pull your arm out of Wanda’s grasp. You look at her and fuck, why can’t you be enough?

You love her so much, you were trying your best, why wasn’t that enough? You had spent so many nights praying to God, even though you didn’t believe in him, asking him if you could just stay with Wanda.

You were losing everything. 

You lost your best friend.

You were losing your home.

You were losing Wanda. 

“Congratulations,” you tell her with a half-smile. “I’m glad you found someone who can make you feel not broken, can give you peace. I’m sorry that wasn’t me.”

You turn and walk away, each step hurting and sending a shooting pain in your spine, but you refuse to let Wanda see that. 

The worst part was that you knew no matter how much time passed by, you were always going to love her because you had really meant _always_.

And that terrified the hell out of you.

The emptiness settles over you as you walk away. 

People say that you can always see when the end is beginning.

But they don’t tell you how much it hurts to watch as everything falls apart and be able to do nothing about it. 

They don’t tell you that broken people can’t keep things that they can’t have, even if you try to love them with all the pieces.


End file.
